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I [temporarily] Gave Up on Myself

At what point in my journey to womanhood did it become so difficult to love myself? To believe in myself? At what point did I stop dreaming? Stop trying? You know that feeling in your gut that’s drawing you to something. . . some THING but you don’t really know what it is or how to get there, how to accomplish it? The feeling that there is something. . . some reality where you exist and everything is just better? Am I the only one? If I am, bare with me as I dissect my internal conflict.

Welcome back Beautiful Soul Sisters! It has been quite a while— a long while— since I have written with you. Truth be told, I gave up on The Journey Journal. I gave up on my personal journaling. I gave up on believing in that reality where everything was just better. Even after there were so many things going right, so many things looking good, so many things getting better. . . I gave up on me, and ultimately gave up on my purpose. Yikes. I hate having to admit that, but it’s true, that’s what my actions showed or have been showing. But why? How did I let this happen? In this issue of The Journey Journal, I want to welcome each of you back to this journey of becoming, of discovering. I am even welcoming myself back, and it feels pretty darn good. I already (while I simply write and make plans for this relaunch) am getting the feeling I had several months ago of things going right, of things looking good, of things getting better.

So if writing, being vulnerable with you all, encouraging you all, feels good and right to me, I’m gonna muscle up some discipline and obedience and write! I know that God has equipped me and has gone before me. I know that what’s ahead of me is greater than what’s behind me. Eyes haven’t seen and ears haven’t heard God’s beautifully orchestrated masterpiece of my life. He has a future planned for me and promises to fulfill for me that I can’t even fathom. That is my bold and faith-filled claim for this week. I dare you to believe it for yourself. Wether you need some motivation to keep going or to try again, I dare you to claim that what’s coming is better than what’s been and there is absolutely no one reason for you to give up yourself. Keep pressing Soul Sisters, In Jesus’ Mighty Name. . . Amen

Happy Journey

xoxo, Jess


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